In general, light non-alcoholic rum seems to be a bit of a tougher nut to crack than dark rum. In part this may be because being clear limits your potential flavoring ingredients in a way that being vaguely dark caramel color doesn’t. It’s perhaps unsurprising then, that every single white rum we sampled was from a lineup that also included a dark rum. Where Bare Zero Proof Rum Blanco touts “mango, pineapple, fresh grass & sugar cane sweetness” it’s Caribbean Gold Spiced Rum sibling opts for “warm baking spice, brightened caramel, and vanilla”.

On the nose it lives up to most of its claims; first you pick out the banana, tending towards peel, a definite bit of sweetness, some pineapple, and then something grassy. On the palate there’s more banana, as well as some melon and mango. A moderate burn picks up, and carries you through to a pretty light finish, indexing mostly on ginger.

In our blind taste test it scored okay as a neat sipper (6.8/10) but great mixed into a daiquiri (8.1/10). Overall Rum Blanco brings an interesting fruity-funkiness that is more likely to read as “rum” in a cocktail than any other light rum we’ve tested to date.

The Superficial: Similar to Bare Zero Caribbean Gold Spiced Rum; the wooden stopper top is swapped for a clear plastic that matches the contents, but bottle construction feels very quality. The design and labelling looks nice and tight, if a bit sterile. The label itself has some nice texture.

Light & Zesty is a non-alcoholic spirit from Caleño in Bristol, UK. After reviewing it’s product line sibling, Dark & Spicy, and concluding that it was, in fact, too light and zesty, I had high hopes going into this review. If they manage to make a tasty light and zesty drink when they’re not even trying to, surely the intentional Light & Zesty has to be great, right?

On the nose there’s pineapple, sour candy, citrus, and a touch of juniper. On the palate it’s incredibly fresh tasting; pineapple, apple, lime, and a touch of fruit pith. It’s tart, but not overly sour, and the acidity really seems in place. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the finish is very light. There’s a bit of lemon peel and some faint floral notes, but nothing intense or burning.

In our blind taste test we thought it was reasonably good as a neat sipper (7.0/10) and mixed into a daiquiri (7.6/10). Frankly it’s not a particularly good flavor match for rum, and while it doesn’t mention rum on the label, what does “Tropical Non-Alcoholic Spirit” make you think of?

While it’s not a great drop in replacement in rum drinks, as it’s acidity is likely to throw things out of balance, it is quite tasty by itself, and with a little experimentation can definitely make a nice drink.

The Superficial: The bottle label is gorgeous, and the matte embossed texture feels awesome. The proportions of the glass are nice, though c’mon, 500ml? The screw top cap is a bit of let down only because the rest of the presentation is so spot on, though the wood veneer on it looks great and feels quality.

Caleño Dark & Spicy has a gorgeous label and terrible secret: it’s neither dark, nor spicy. Sure it’s visually dark, but it’s flavor profile is a lot closer to its product line sibling: light and zesty.

On the nose it’s juicy, with notes of sour fruit like apple and pineapple. On the palate it’s quite sour, with a candied profile of gummy bears and sweet tarts. At times it almost tastes like you’re drinking a virgin daiquiri. The finish is light and simple, with a bit of waxiness on the way out.

In our blind taste test it scored okay as a neat sipper (6.9/10) and pretty good in a daiquiri (7.8/10). Overall it’s not unpleasant to drink, but it leans heavily on its acidity. It should go without saying, but spirits aren’t acidic, and while Caleño doesn’t claim explicitly to be attempting to emulate rum, it does explicitly say “non-alcoholic spirit”. Furthermore the label says dark & spicy, which it is not. The bottle specifies ginger, black cardamom, vanilla and kola nut as the spices to be looking for, and all of those are totally missing on the palate (except for, maybe, if you really squint, some faint vanilla).

It’s sometimes difficult to weigh how much “not being rum like” should drag down a rating when the label doesn’t say “rum” and the thing itself tastes good (and again, I think this one actually tastes quite nice), but it’s easier dock points for failing to live up to your own name.

The Superficial: The bottle label is gorgeous, and the matte embossed texture feels awesome. The proportions of the glass are nice, though c’mon, 500ml? The screw top cap is a bit of let down only because the rest of the presentation is so spot on, though the wood veneer on it looks great and feels quality.

When I first saw Philters Ruhm I assumed the title was a play on “rhum” the French spelling of rum (e.g. “rhum agricole”), though after a look at the rest of their lineup (Jynn, Mezkahl, and Wiski) it seems as though they just like misspelling things as a brand exercise.

The first impressions of the nose seem to further disprove any connection to rhum agricole, as it’s profile is far from grassy or vegetal. Rather it leans into warm spices (specifically allspice), maple syrup, banana, and a touch of oak. On the palate you get a pretty early onset burn that hits near the back of the throat, more spices, french toast, and oak. The finish is moderately strong as far as non-alcoholic finishes go, leaning into an okay cinnamon.

Another aspect worth stewing on is Philters’ inclusion of adaptogens (Holy Basil, Siberian Ginseng, Ashwagandha, Passionflower, Fenugreek, and L-Theanine to be specific). I’m not against any of the individual ingredients listed, and in fact I take an L-Theanine supplement every day, though I’m generally skeptical of adaptogens in non-alcoholic drinks. Often the marketing seems to promise “all the fun of being drunk off your ass, with none of the consequences!”; in the best case scenario this is just a lie, and in the worst they attempt to achieve this by including unregulated drugs with addictive potential (true story). I include this context to explain my general skepticism, but in practice I can’t really ding Philters: all their ingredients seem reasonable, and importantly, it’s not their main value proposition, and they’re not trying to sell you on some false promise of euphoria (ahem).

In our blind taste test we thought it was pretty good neat (7.0/10) and great mixed into a daiquiri (8.6/10). Overall Philters strikes a position on heat and flavor just below the threshold of being too much. If there was any more heat it would veer into Arkay territory (not a good thing), and if it was any more flavorful it might start tasting artificial. As is, it sticks the landing of being drinkable neat, while also avoiding getting lost in a cocktail. Nicely done Philters.

The Superficial: In general a nicely constructed presentation. The stopper has a really quality wooden stopper and a synthetic cork, and while the label looks like a thin plastic, it has a matte texture and overall pleasing design.