Dark & Spicy is a rum-inspired non-alcoholic spirit from Caleño that's tasty, but fails to live up to its name.

Caleño Dark & Spicy has a gorgeous label and terrible secret: it’s neither dark, nor spicy. Sure it’s visually dark, but it’s flavor profile is a lot closer to its product line sibling: light and zesty.

On the nose it’s juicy, with notes of sour fruit like apple and pineapple. On the palate it’s quite sour, with a candied profile of gummy bears and sweet tarts. At times it almost tastes like you’re drinking a virgin daiquiri. The finish is light and simple, with a bit of waxiness on the way out.

In our blind taste test it scored okay as a neat sipper (6.9/10) and pretty good in a daiquiri (7.8/10). Overall it’s not unpleasant to drink, but it leans heavily on its acidity. It should go without saying, but spirits aren’t acidic, and while Caleño doesn’t claim explicitly to be attempting to emulate rum, it does explicitly say “non-alcoholic spirit”. Furthermore the label says dark & spicy, which it is not. The bottle specifies ginger, black cardamom, vanilla and kola nut as the spices to be looking for, and all of those are totally missing on the palate (except for, maybe, if you really squint, some faint vanilla).

It’s sometimes difficult to weigh how much “not being rum like” should drag down a rating when the label doesn’t say “rum” and the thing itself tastes good (and again, I think this one actually tastes quite nice), but it’s easier dock points for failing to live up to your own name.

 

The Superficial: The bottle label is gorgeous, and the matte embossed texture feels awesome. The proportions of the glass are nice, though c’mon, 500ml? The screw top cap is a bit of let down only because the rest of the presentation is so spot on, though the wood veneer on it looks great and feels quality.

Tags:  Standard Release | Zero Proof