This zero proof rum from 270º Botanicals gave us strong notes of latex and burnt meat, with subtler hints of caramel, artificial coffee, and nondescript nut.

When I first encountered the Dark Caribbean Blend in our blind taste test, my first thought was “This is actively vile.” The strong aroma of overly-sweet artificial coffee (the kind you might get in a can from a vending machine) belied an unsettling kind of latex-y savoriness, and on the palate, things weren’t much better. Reactions around the table were similar; a food scientist who previously worked on plant-based meat mentioned it had a distinct artificial beef flavor and others noted teriyaki and earth. Later in our daiquiri round, as most other zero-proof rums were receiving much more love as mixers than they did as neat sippers, the Dark Caribbean Blend was still giving a cloying sort of mocha, and meaty notes that would be more at home in a stew than a citrusy cocktail. It was, in fact, so bad that we figured something must be wrong. And there was! Sort of. Per the guidance of Spirits of Virtue (the makers of 270º botanicals), “THIS PRODUCT IS PRODUCED TO BE MIXED WITH WATER OR A MIXER OF YOUR CHOICE IDEALLY AT A 3:1 RATIO. IT IS NOT DESIGNED TO BE DRUNK NEAT.” Unfortunately, this guidance was not on the bottle, it wasn’t on the general Spirits of Virtue website, and it wasn’t on the 270º-specific site linked on their main site (that link led to a Wix error page saying the site didn’t exist). We found this recommendation on a sales listing of a third party—but I do appreciate that where it showed up, it was in bold and all caps. After sitting with the blend again, now diluted with (ostensibly) their recommended ratio, I can say things have improved, but not much. The vending-machine coffee nose is still there, but it’s tempered. The latex and meat are notes subtle if noticeable. The palate is arguably serviceable, with some caramel and nondescript nutty notes that, while not particularly rum-like, gave something to dig into. I’d be very interested in hearing from proponents of this bottle—especially if it seems as though there may have been something defective in the one we tested. It seems as though the brand is under renovation (see: website not found), and I’d be open to revisiting even if it is unlikely I will ever finish this bottle. It’s worth saying that 270º avoids one of the main problems I have with many zero-proof rums: a lack of sensory intensity. But sadly in this case is a case of curing a nosebleed by cutting off one's head.